Should you ban mobile phones from your wedding ceremony?

Phones away or phones out? When it comes to your wedding ceremony, there really is no right or wrong answer.

We live in a world where our phones are pretty much permanently attached to us. We check them without thinking, we photograph everything from our breakfast to our holidays, and increasingly, we’re surrounded by AI, algorithms and screens.

So perhaps there’s something rather lovely about making your wedding ceremony a little pocket of time where none of that matters.

An unplugged ceremony (as kids in the biz refer to it) is simply a ceremony where you ask your guests to put their phones, cameras and other devices away for the duration.

Why say no to mobile phones?

You want everyone to be present

This is probably the biggest reason to choose to have an unplugged ceremony.

Your wedding ceremony is one of those rare moments when everyone you love is gathered in one place.

You want them there, not checking their emails, not wondering why their Ring doorbell has just sent them an alert, not discreetly checking the football score under their chair.

There aren't many occasions in life when you get an entire room full of people you love to stop what they're doing and focus entirely on your love for each other. Make the most of it!

You don't want your romantic moment accompanied by PING!

There's nothing quite like standing in front of the person you love, saying your vows, perhaps getting a little emotional......and then someone's phone goes DING!

Or, even worse, PING PING PING!

It's amazing how quickly one tiny notification can puncture the atmosphere.

Your ceremony is probably going to be full of beautiful, emotional and meaningful moments. Keeping phones out of sight means there's much less chance of a rogue notification, ringtone or vibrating phone stealing the show.

Your photographer will probably thank you

Your photographer is there to capture all those gorgeous little moments and they probably don’t want someone’s iPhone sticking six inches into the air directly in front of the newlyweds.

Your photographer can only work with what's in front of them. And while guests taking photographs is usually done with the best of intentions, it can make getting those beautiful, unobstructed images much trickier.

An unplugged ceremony gives your photographer a much clearer view — and gives your guests a much clearer view too.

But here's the thing...

I don't think your guests are getting their phones out because they're inconsiderate. They're probably getting their phones out because they love you and they want to capture the moment a little video of you walking towards each other or after you've just kissed or they want to send a picture to someone who couldn't be there.

Taking a photograph can actually be an expression of being part of the moment. So I think it's worth remembering that when you're deciding whether to go completely unplugged.

You don't necessarily have to choose between phones everywhere and phones nowhere

There is another option. You can have a mostly unplugged ceremony, while giving your guests a few opportunities to get their phones out.

Give everyone a photo opportunity

Before the ceremony starts, you could encourage guests to take photographs of the ceremony space, themselves and each other.

Then, once the ceremony begins, phones go away. Or you could build a specific photo moment into your ceremony.

Perhaps you've just exchanged rings. Perhaps you've just had a proper snog. Perhaps you've been pronounced married and you're about to walk into your new life together.

Your celebrant can announce something along the lines of, “Right, everyone. This is your official permission to get your phones out!”

Give everyone 30 seconds. Let them take their pictures. Then phones away again and back to the ceremony.

And, of course, this only works if you actually want that. This is your wedding, not a compulsory photo opportunity for everyone else!

What if you don't have a photographer?

This is another important consideration. Maybe you've decided not to have a professional photographer. Maybe you're working to a budget, or perhaps photographs simply aren't a huge priority for you.

In that case, you might actually want your guests to take photographs throughout the day.

One thing you could do is create a shared photo album where everyone can upload their pictures. You could use something simple like Google Drive or Dropbox, or look at one of the many wedding-specific photo-sharing platforms available.

The advantage of doing this is that you're not relying on one person to capture everything. Instead, you end up with a whole collection of photographs from everyone's perspective. And sometimes the slightly wonky photographs are the ones you'll treasure most.

Or appoint your own unofficial photographers

Most people have a friend or family member who is really good at taking photographs. You could ask two or three trusted guests to be your unofficial ceremony photographers and give them permission to take photographs.

That way, everyone else can keep their phones away, while you still get some lovely candid photographs from people who were actually there.

You can then share the photographs with everyone afterwards.

You could film the ceremony too

If you really want a record of your ceremony but don't want phones waving around everywhere, another option is to put a camera on a tripod and simply film the whole thing.

It doesn't need to be hugely complicated.

You could ask a friend to set it up, make sure you've got enough battery and storage, press record and leave it alone.

That way, you've got a complete record of your ceremony without needing 27 people to film different sections of it on their phones.

Just make sure you test the camera position beforehand — particularly if you're relying on audio as well as video!

So... should you have an unplugged ceremony?

Not helpful but ulimately, it's completely up to you.

If the idea of everyone putting their phones away makes you feel relieved, go for it. Your ceremony can become a proper little tech-free zone — a space where everyone can forget about notifications, messages, social media, work, AI and everything else going on in the outside world.

But if you love the idea of your friends and family capturing photographs, sharing little moments and documenting your ceremony, then that's absolutely fine too.

You could have a completely plugged-in ceremony!

The important thing is to decide what you want your ceremony to feel like. Whether the phones stay in the pockets or come out for a quick photo... make sure you're present for the bit that really matters.

And if you want a little help working out how to make that happen, that's exactly the sort of thing I can help you with, as your celebrant.