How to feel less nervous speaking at your wedding (even if you hate it)

Fun fact… I used to be terrified of public speaking. I’m talking sweaty palms and calling my mum afterwards because I needed maternal reassurance. So, if you’re getting married, but the idea of standing up in front of everyone and speaking makes your knees go a bit wobbly, you are not alone!

But if I can get past it, you absolutely can too! And the the bright side is that you don’t need to be “good at public speaking” to have a beautiful ceremony.

Your wedding is not a performance

You’re not giving a presentation. No one’s judging your delivery. There’s no gold star for “most confident vow reader.” You’re just talking to the person you love. That’s it.

You don’t have to stand there on display

There are no rules here. You can sit down instead of standing at the front. You can sit with your guests. You can stand close together and keep your focus just between the two of you.

However it looks, we shape your ceremony so it feels natural not exposing.

And you don’t have to “perform” your vows

If reading them out loud feels like a lot, we adjust. You could repeat after me (honestly, very underrated). You can keep them short and simple… simple doesn’t mean any less meaningful! You might choose to share private vows earlier in the day instead.Or skip vows altogether and include something else, like a handfasting ritual.

With my ceremonies, there’s no pressure and no spotlight you didn’t ask for.

Nerves are completely normal

I’d be more surprised if you weren’t a bit nervous. Before every ceremony, I feel it too. But I always say to people - lean into it because this is what these big life moments are all about!

We’re not trying to eliminate nerves. They’re a sign that you care. We’re just not letting them take over.

And I’ll be right there to guide you through it.

A few small things that make a big difference

• Print your vows in a way that’s easy to read
  Clear spacing, a comfortable font size, something that feels good in your hands. No squinting, no scrambling.

• Read your words out loud beforehand
  Even once or twice is enough. Try it in the mirror, on a walk, or to your dog (in my case). You’ll quickly find what flows naturally.

• Slow down more than you think you need to
  Nerves speed everything up. A small pause here and there will feel long to you, and completely natural to everyone else.

• Take a proper breath before you begin
  Not a rushed one. A real one. It helps more than you’d expect.

• Keep your focus on your person
  Not the guests. Not the room. Just them.

• Hold something grounding
  Their hand. Your vows. Even a small touchpoint can bring you straight back into the moment if your mind starts to race.

• Know that everyone is on your side
  No one is sitting there waiting for you to mess up. They’re all rooting for you!

• Let it be imperfect
  If your voice wobbles or you lose your place, it doesn’t ruin anything. If anything, it makes the moment feel more real.

• Give yourself an “anchor line”
  A sentence at the start that you feel really comfortable saying. Once you’re in, everything else tends to follow more easily.

• Remember, you don’t have to do this alone
  I’ll guide you, prompt you if needed, and hold the flow so you never feel unsure about what’s next.